Buttered bread always falls buttered-side-down,
regardless of the actual probability of either.
(The chance of a dropped slice of bread
landing butter-side down on a new carpet
is proportional to the price of the carpet.)
When a cat is dropped from above a certain height,
it will always land on four feet. Therefore...
If you strap a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat,
butter side up, and let the cat drop, it will fail to fall to the ground,
but hover a foot above the street, spinning there forever...